BIGFOOT FOUND!!!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Two men from Georgia claim to have found the body of Bigfoot!! I saw it on the news yesterday that they went to California, taking three DNA samples from the body, to prove that it really is Bigfoot. They even held a press conference to show the picture they have of his body, which they have kept frozen in a chest freezer, I would guess to keep it from decomposing.

Looking at the picture, you would immediately suspect something was a bit fake about it. What is the first thing you notice? The teeth!! Perfectly white and straight! Someone said those could have been his grandmother's false teeth! They're so perfect. Do they have a bigfoot dentist in bigfoot world? He took great care of his teeth!
Next bit of fakery, there is a costume company that sells bigfoot costumes who said that this looks identical to the one they sell. Not surprising.
There is a full length picture of Bigfoot's body in the freezer. The men, trying to make it look authentically dead, laid some cat guts over top of the body. Well, maybe it's not cat guts, but it's the guts of something anyway! Gross!
The men who "captured" this thing, would not take it to California with them. I didn't pay attention as to their reason why they would not bring it. Not much need to guess why not.
The most hilarious part of all of this is, remember the three DNA samples they submitted? They were tested, and the first one was found to be human DNA, the second sample was DNA from an OPPOSSUM(!), and the other sample could not be tested due to some kind of error at the lab. Isn't that hilarious?! So, now we know Bigfoot is part human and part oppossum!! Oh goodness! I could hardly stop laughing! What foolishness! What will they come up with next?